


Ben / Little Station

by silverr



Category: Beauty and the Beast (1991), Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Minor Julian Bashir/Elim Garak, Oblivious Julian Bashir, Song Lyrics, Song Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:00:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26602603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverr/pseuds/silverr
Summary: A song parody of "Belle/Little Town," written for Round 7, Challenge #12 of the Lands of Magic community on Dreamwidth.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Ben / Little Station

**Author's Note:**

> With heartfelt apologies to Howard Elliot Ashman and Alan Menken.

[OPENING SHOT -- PROMENADE]

Sisko:  
Deep Space Nine  
It's a little station  
The worm hole  
Brightly glows nearby  
Deep Space Nine  
Full of alien creatures  
Waking up to say —

Klingon:  
_Q' plaa!_

Vulcan:  
_Kroy'kah!_

Bajoran:  
_Peldor!_

Ferengi:  
_Neep-gren!_

Romulan:  
_Jolan-tru!_

Sisko:  
There goes Kai Winn, her face is sour like always  
She's casting Major shade again  
Ev'ry morning just the same  
Since the morning that we came  
To the former Terok Nor

Winn:  
Good morning, Emissary.

Sisko:  
Good morning, Your Eminence.

Winn:  
Where are you off to today?

Sisko:  
The holosuites. I'm going to replay a baseball game from the 2026 World Series -

Winn:  
That's nice. Bariel!  
The orbs! Hurry up!

Odo:  
Look there he goes that man is strange, no question  
Dazed and distracted, can't you tell?

Random Vedek:  
His shirt is never red

Gul Dukat:  
'Cause then he'd wind up _dead_

Dax:  
No denying he's a spacey guy our Ben!

[INT. -- TAILOR SHOP]

...

Garak the Tailor:  
Ah, Doctor!

Bashir:  
Good morning, Garak. I've come to return the tuxedo I rented.

Garak:  
Was it not satisfactory?

Bashir:  
Oh, it was wonderful. Made quite a splash at the party. Although...

Garak:  
Yes?

Bashir:  
The trousers _were_ a little tight.

Garak:  
I've heard a snug fit makes one popular with the ladies.

Bashir:  
Actually, well, I'm not as interested in the ladies as I once was.  
I suppose the chase just doesn't thrill me the way it used to.

Garak:  
Is that so? How very interesting.  
Let me refund your rental fee.

Bashir:  
Oh, I don't need —

Garak:  
Don't say another word!  
After all, what type of tailor would I be if I didn't stand behind my promise to make sure that every customer is 100% satisfied? 

Bashir:  
Uh…

Garak:  
Tell me, doctor, what can I do to satisfy _you_ today?

Bashir:  
Er, oh, really, Garak! There's no need —

Garak:  
I insist. It's my pleasure. Entirely. 

Bashir:  
Well, ah, thank you. Thank you very much!

....

[INT -- THE PROMENADE]

Kira and O'Brien:  
Look there he goes  
The man is strange but special  
A most peculiar Starfleet guy!

Dabo girl:  
It's a pity and a sin

Quark:  
He'll never quite fit in

Promenade denizens:  
'Cause he really is a spacey guy  
A leader but a spacey guy  
He really is a spacey guy  
Our Ben!

**Author's Note:**

> There is a surprising paucity of two-syllables words in the languages of the Alpha Quadrant races. (Cardassian has _nothing_ except military ranks! Then again, I guess that's on brand?)
> 
> Thanks to **Gauss** and **Mipeltaja** for suggestions on the first draft.


End file.
